Digging the Well

So it seemed I was asked to dig a well in my return to the desert. (see post called "Desert Bloom" :-)). I was to seek sustenance inwardly, dig a well deep in my soul that would be a conduit for the Holy Spirit who would replenish me when there was little spiritual food around. This is what I thought. The desert is dry, hot, dusty, full of prickly things, devoid of sustenance, of people, of life. Its expanse of space may occasionally be interrupted by mountains devoid of vegetation. There is little stimulation for the eye or for the palate. The desert is empty, windblown and gritty. I was to dig a well in order to be sustained.

The spiritual desert can be any variation of the deserts of the world: sage-strewn hills dotted with cacti, rabbit brush, and chola, or vast vistages of lifeless dunes, uninviting, slippery-sloped, and very dangerous. Initially the spiritual desert does not come into your life to comfort, fulfill, inspire you, although these are some of the wonderful outcomes of desert life. No, the desert keeps its distance in mystery. One enters the desert with trepidation and only as a result of being drawn or called there. Most seekers avoid it, and prefer the plains or the shore, where food for the body as well as the soul is abundant. One does not ask for the desert, but goes there out of obedience when asked. And seekers who wish to obey will go there.

The desert was pervasive in the writings of the Jews and early Christians. It seems everyone who ever played a role in the history of the Jews went to the desert: even Mary and Joseph fled to Egypt with their newborn child to escape Herod. Likewise, our own spiritual journeys often pass through the desert. So if the desert is a harsh place, why do seekers go there? Or why do they allow themselves to be taken there? Why did Jesus go there for forty days and perhaps longer in those hidden years? Here are some possible answers: We go to the desert

1. Unwittingly, in innocence and obedience
2. To be alone without distraction
3. To manifest our promise to God to leave the world and join completely to Him.
4. To pray and suffer for the world's salvation
5. To discover ourselves and God
6. In search of simplicity: to be stripped of all that encumbers a person in his journey with God.

It is obvious that some of these reasons are not choices one would knowingly make, and all of these reasons are things most pilgrims go through at some time in their life. One doesn't choose to place himself on the road of suffering. I don't believe one says to God, "I am ready, test me!"  Believers are taken there, drawn there, or choose to go to the desert to escape the cluttered world. They desire to have God only in their lives. They want to simplify in order to go deeper by making God their entire focus. As a result, many suffer, because the walk through the desert is not an easy one. Deep suffering can take place as one experiences loneliness, abandonment, or, the most frightening of all, facing oneself honestly, without excuses. Often the desert is the place where one lives with physical affliction. Many of our neighbors certainly live desert lives. The test comes when in these difficult times, one is tempted to betray God, or to turn from Him in self-pity, rebellion, or despair.

However, the desert is not just about these spare experiences. Desert pilgrims experience great joy at times, as they discover oases of water in the form of consolations of the Holy Spirit, and as they take nourishment from the Holy Eucharist and from the Word.
Therefore, another reason we go to the desert is:

7. To walk in the unutterable joy of God's presence.

What else strips us but suffering? Pain, sorrow, disenchantment, loneliness, doubt, fear, so many things cause us to want to escape, change direction, and finally, hopefully, search ourselves. But what else gives great delight? Knowing that in our suffering we are communing with the Holy One, basking in His light and love, and being filled with the gift of the Holy Spirit. When we are alone with God there is no one else on whom we can rely. We cannot project our misery or blame on anyone else, not our parents, our spouse, nor our society. We have only God. And He has us. In the kingdom, one's journey is with God. We are separated, we have given all to God, and we must study ourselves from within. We must dig a well.